confused

i don't know what to do.....
I love my boyfriend....
but not as much as i love you....
the last time i broke up with my boyfriend he was in tears...
I don't think i could break up with him again...
But it just doesn't feel right going out with someone and liking someone totally different....
I would hate to know my boyfriend's heart is broken...but my heart is broken too....
My bestfriend is trying all she can to make me feel better....
and it is working....sort of....
I will never feel better untill i get this problem solved..
And i know it will never be solved......

broken

Im so lost right now i don't even know what to do anymore.
My heart is confused...It's tied up in knots.
I love you...and i always think you love me too...
But then you turn around and ask out some other girl...
Who will never love you as much as i do...
And yes i have a boyfriend but i don't and never will love him as much as i love you...
Maybe that's why you won't ask me out....
But when i was single you had your chance..and you lost it....
I try not to love you....but you can never stop loving someone...
You lead me on and then you just drop me.....
When i hug or kiss my boyfriend i'm secretly wishing it was you...
I know that is not right to wish that but i can't help myself...
And yes i do know you are kind of a player but i know if you went out me...
You would have no reason to like someone else....
I just am so confused everyone says you have the biggest crush on me..then why don't you ask me out?
I would just like to know that.....
Just so you know...it's not your looks that im after...i'm after your adorable personalilty and your sweetness...
Everyone says we make the perfect couple...i used to believe them...but now im doubting them...
I get so upset when my boyfriend tells me he loves me....because i know he means it...but im not so sure if i mean it when i say it back to him....
I would hate to break his heart...but my hearts is broken too....
I am just sooo confused...
I love you and i'm not so sure if you love me...i think you do...but i'll never know..
Im just so broken.....

If only he knew

If only he knew that every morning i got up extra early just to make myself look prettier for him.
If only he knew that i don't love my boyfriend as much as i love him.
If only he knew when i talk to him i am in a trance and can't see anyone else but him.
If only he knew when i send him a text message saying hey it means i love you.
If only he knew that his girlfriend doesn't and never will love him as much as i do.
If only he knew i would do anything just to be in his arms.
If only he knew when he gives me a compliment i will never forget what he said.
If only he knew i love him. </3